Chris Evans...
WHAT DID YOU DO THE NIGHT BEFORE ?
The night before I was wandering home after the show when I passed a lovely old blue, 1972 VW BEETLE, so pretty and what was this ? A small note stuck to the rear window announcing that this little baby was for sale, she was beautiful, a little beaten up but, hey, aren't we all ? I had to do it, I took out my phone and dialled the number. It went to answerphone,
"Hello, this is LUCY," announced a silky toned female voice, "I'm not here, please leave a message."
"Oh my God, " I thought, "er., do I really want this car ?" then the sound of the beep panicked me in to action.
"Er, yes, er hello, I was just ringing about your car, if you still want to er' sell it then please call me back on this number, the name is....,.....,..... Pete!"
Pete, PETE ! What the heck did I say my name was Pete for ? I'm such a schmuck such an idiot.
Now what if she calls back and I have to meet her and she's sees it's not Pete.
"Where is Pete ?" she may ask.
Before I had chance to thump myself in the face for being such a loser, my phone rings, it was the number I had just called, it was Lucy, the owner of the car...
"Hello ?"
"Oh, hello, this is Lucy, you called about my car, is that Pete ?"
"Yes, this is he !" Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
"So, you're interested in the car ?"
"The car, the car, yes I love the car, it's lovely, I love it, the car."
"Are you alright ?"
"Yes, I'm fine, er...er,....could you tell me a little more about it, please ?
She went on to tell me, that she'd bought it for £3k, spent one and a half on it, ( thousand that is), and was off to go travelling so needed a quick sale, preferably to someone whom she felt would love and cherish the little beauty just had she had.
I impressed her suitably enough for her to agree to meet me at the car ten minutes later.
I quickly brushed my teeth, made a quick call and set off back to where the car was, just round the corner from where I live. There was the car and there was Lucy.
So here's the thing, the owner, the lady, Lucy, was absolutely drop dead, blimin' gorgeous, stunning, I mean unbelievable, breath taking.
"Hi," I said.
"Oh hello, hang on a minute..."
"Yes, I know, my name's not PETE... CHRIS, pleased to meet you."
"Why did you say your name was Pete ?"
"I have no idea, I really don't know."
"Ok......, fine...., er well would you like to have a drive of the car....Chris ?"
I'm dying now.
"Yes please."
Shit.
The car was great, Lucy was great, I decided to buy it. Lucy said she would come round to my house st three o'clock, the next day, yesterday, to drop off the paperwork and pick up the cash. I went off to my favorite restaurant to pick up the pieces of my mind.
THE NEXT DAY
I sorted the cash out and waited for the arrival the lovely L.
Right on time, my door bell rang, there she was looking even lovlier than the day before. I showed her in to the living room, there were scraps of notepaper and scripts and newspaper cuttings everywhere, I'd just finished preparing the show.
"Wow, seems your busy then ?"
"yes, yes but I love it, so what do you have for me ?"
She plonked down a thick and very impressive leather bound complete history of the BUG. This was a good car, with a good vibe, I already loved the car, she told me a little more about it, I gave her the cash and that was that.
A smooth and friendly transaction. A win win, perfect.
I opened the main front door for her to see her out.
"Thanks a lot, " she said.
"No, no, thank you... oh by the way where are you going travelling ?"
"Oh, I'm not," she said, "I'm an unemployed actress, I needed the money and I didn't know what else to say, PETE !"
And with that, she winked, like a sly old fox and vanished.
GIRLS, you gotta love 'em.
See you on the radio, I'm off to make friends with my new sky blue baby, now where are those keys ?
https://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/chrisevans/2006/08/symposium.shtml